Chapter One-
Carlin sat staring at the gritty sidewalk. His feet were cold and his back ached from leaning back against the tubular metal bench. Deep in reverie he was thinking about how good a hot cup of coffee would taste right now. The bitter steam teasing his nostrils as the rich dark liquid floated over his tongue. He could not ever remember wanting a cup of coffee this bad though he was sure there must have been a time.
He searched his pockets one more time just in case there were a couple of dollars overlooked. He still had his wallet full of credit cards but none of them worked. He wasn’t sure why he still hung on to them. He pulled them from his wallet looked them over, turning them this way and that while running is fingers absently over the raised letters and numbers. He decided that he would cut them up as soon as he could find a pair of scissors. It was time to let go of the past he vowed as he had so many times before. This had always been a hard thing for Carlin to do and now things had suddenly changed so much that paralysis was setting in.
Finally, stiff with cold and lack of movement he rose from the bench. He wasn’t sure where he was going but he knew that if he could not stay sitting on the bench any longer. Some of the people he used to work with still took this route to catch the 5:50 bus to the suburbs. He didn’t want to run into any of them. He thought about going back to his house but it was still too risky so he decided to drop in on an old girl friend. Maybe she would offer him some coffee or something to eat and possibly, a place to sleep for the night. He tried concocting his story as he turned in the direction of her apartment but every excuse as to why he was there sounded implausible against the truth.
He found her apartment building easily even though it had been a couple of years since he had visited her street. Carlin stood in front the building of looking up at her balcony. “What if she doesn’t live there anymore?” he thought, but he knew she did. Suddenly he felt very tired and could not bring himself to take another step. He sat down on the curb with his feet in the gutter. Someone had dropped a pack of chewing gum. He picked it up. There were three pieces left. He unwrapped each one and stuck them into his mouth. He sat and chewed the gum concentrating on the minty sweetness. His stomach growled as the chill of the sidewalk bled through his pants. He sat there for almost an hour before he decided to get up and go into the apartment building. He found the woman’s door on the fourth floor and pushed the bell.
